Broken

The nutritionist.  She said that I should be eating more carbs.  So today I went out to the little restaurant ready to eat my carbs!  I ordered a breakfast sandwich on a croissant.  That would give me the carbs she suggested.  YUM!  I could only eat about 1/3 of it.  So I went back to the room.  I upped the carbs at snack time a bit.  Lunch!  I split a turkey blt with my sister.  Only about half the carbs the nutritionist suggested, and I couldn't quite eat all of that.  In the past I have not been successful with managing my blood sugar no matter what carb to protein ratio I use.  In the last 2 years I've tried so many different formulas!  I will keep trying.

After lunch, we took the shuttle over to the clinic, then got on the other shuttle to go to the hospital in Phoenix for my appointment with the surgeon.  My blood sugar started dropping, so I was trying to fill out forms (which I have filled out several times now) and eat peanut butter crackers at the same time.  I got called back and an assistant came in and had me explain the problem instead of just going from what my records said.  That's great!  But with my blood sugar being funky I couldn't form the words and make them come out of my mouth the right way.  My sister was with me, and thankfully she jumped in to rescue me.  With all of that done, the lady left the room and came back with the doctor.  I was so hopeful that he would say let's do the surgery and fix this!  Nope.  He said he has only had one patient ever need to have a reversal of the gastric bypass due to hypoglycemia.  ONE???  That's how rare this is.  He wants to see what the results of the mixed foods test are and what the endocrinologist has to recommend on Friday.  My 3rd mixed foods test.  Oatmeal and applesauce this time.  He also said that usually the hormones that are sending the wrong signals usually correct themselves 2 to 3 years after the gastric bypass.  In September it will be my 3 year mark.  I'm not getting warm fuzzies about any of this.  The surgery is more invasive than the gastric bypass and pretty complicated.  If I have it, they wouldn't be able to do it until the end of July.  There is no guarantee that it will correct my problem.  Lots to think about.

I am frustrated.  I am drained.  I am tired.  I am broken.