This is it! I will be leaving soon to go to the hospital for my surgery. I have to say that I don't care for the feeling of my armpits and my flab all sticking together because of the lack of being able to use deodorant, lotion, and powder. Further more, I REALLY don't like not being able to drink some water and take my medicine, and I am truly hoping my blood sugar doesn't get out of whack because I can't eat anything. I late surgery time pretty much stinks.
With that out of my system, I am so glad that it is finally going to happen. I am excited about what it will be like in a couple of months... and a bit anxious about what it will be like for the next week. My hubby is a bit of a basket case because he is worried about my healing process (not to mention the surgery itself). I really appreciate all of the prayers that have been said for us. I know that God has a hand in all of this.
I probably won't be posting for a while, but I know I will have a ton to say once I have my wits about me!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Day 150 something!
Ha! I just counted out the days, and before I could write it down my son came in and talked to me. So, yes, it is day 150 something!
I know I haven't posted in quite a while. I spent the summer doing some terrific things that rejuvenated me in so many different ways! I am here today to fill you in on my journey before I actually have my surgery in a few days!
I found out that I do, indeed, have sleep apnea. I have made the adjustment to using a CPAP at night (even though the mask still gets on my nerves at times!). I can't believe how much better I sleep now! I used to get up so many times during the night just to go to the bathroom, and now I sleep all the way through without getting up even once. What a difference! I am no longer exhausted when I wake up. YAY!
All of the other tests came out great. I do have to say that it having the patience to wait for a surgery date was pretty aggravating. I wanted so much to have everything done before the new school year started so I wouldn't miss any time with my students. As it is, I spent a week with them, and now I will be off for a month to have my surgery and recover. I have an amazing sub, and I know everything is working out just how God has intended.
Over the summer I also got a new tattoo. It is on my left shoulder. It is a lotus with a butterfly on it. It signifies the changes I am going through. My priorities have been changing. My eating habits are changing. And now, finally, I feel like my body will be catching up to those changes. I realize it will be difficult, but it will be so worth it.
Am I nervous? A little. I mean - they WILL be cutting my insides apart. My excitement outweighs my nervousness, though. I wonder if I will still feel the same a day, a week, or even a year from now. Only time will tell!
I know I haven't posted in quite a while. I spent the summer doing some terrific things that rejuvenated me in so many different ways! I am here today to fill you in on my journey before I actually have my surgery in a few days!
I found out that I do, indeed, have sleep apnea. I have made the adjustment to using a CPAP at night (even though the mask still gets on my nerves at times!). I can't believe how much better I sleep now! I used to get up so many times during the night just to go to the bathroom, and now I sleep all the way through without getting up even once. What a difference! I am no longer exhausted when I wake up. YAY!
All of the other tests came out great. I do have to say that it having the patience to wait for a surgery date was pretty aggravating. I wanted so much to have everything done before the new school year started so I wouldn't miss any time with my students. As it is, I spent a week with them, and now I will be off for a month to have my surgery and recover. I have an amazing sub, and I know everything is working out just how God has intended.
Over the summer I also got a new tattoo. It is on my left shoulder. It is a lotus with a butterfly on it. It signifies the changes I am going through. My priorities have been changing. My eating habits are changing. And now, finally, I feel like my body will be catching up to those changes. I realize it will be difficult, but it will be so worth it.
Am I nervous? A little. I mean - they WILL be cutting my insides apart. My excitement outweighs my nervousness, though. I wonder if I will still feel the same a day, a week, or even a year from now. Only time will tell!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Day 48
Well, here it is, Day 48. Last week I got my cardiac clearance, met with the nutritionist, and had my endoscopy. This afternoon I got a call from the pulmonary office to schedule that appointment, and I called the psych office to see if they had forgotten about me. Apparently they had left a message way back on May 8th, but I have been checking messages daily and it was never on the machine. I was able to schedule both of the psych appointments, and as of right now, all of my clearances will be done by June 11th.
Since I am trying to get everything done before my insurance rolls over at the end of June, I called the doctor's office to see if I could schedule the next step since I knew when my appointments would be done. The lady said that it is against their policy to schedule the appointment until they have received all of the clearances. Then she said it would be impossible to get my surgery before the end of June. I was a bit upset with her because I have been telling everyone there from day 1 that I needed to get it all done by then, and no one told me that this would be an impossible task. I have taken days off of work to get my clearances done (days without pay for that matter), and I would have opted to just wait until summer when I had lots of free time to do everything. My bubble was completely popped. I automatically went into shut down mode, and decided that I could not get it done because we could not afford it.
Now that I have had some time to think about it, I know that this has happened for a reason. God has it all figured out, and it will be done in His timing, not mine. I will keep the rest of my appointments (even though I will have to take more time off work). We will find a way for this to happen unless God completely closes the door. I would be disappointed, but I would move on.
So, for now I still don't know when my surgery will take place, but I am still moving in the right direction.
Since I am trying to get everything done before my insurance rolls over at the end of June, I called the doctor's office to see if I could schedule the next step since I knew when my appointments would be done. The lady said that it is against their policy to schedule the appointment until they have received all of the clearances. Then she said it would be impossible to get my surgery before the end of June. I was a bit upset with her because I have been telling everyone there from day 1 that I needed to get it all done by then, and no one told me that this would be an impossible task. I have taken days off of work to get my clearances done (days without pay for that matter), and I would have opted to just wait until summer when I had lots of free time to do everything. My bubble was completely popped. I automatically went into shut down mode, and decided that I could not get it done because we could not afford it.
Now that I have had some time to think about it, I know that this has happened for a reason. God has it all figured out, and it will be done in His timing, not mine. I will keep the rest of my appointments (even though I will have to take more time off work). We will find a way for this to happen unless God completely closes the door. I would be disappointed, but I would move on.
So, for now I still don't know when my surgery will take place, but I am still moving in the right direction.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Day 27
Well, it's day 27 of my journey, and it doesn't seem like I have accomplished much. I am in the process of gathering test results and making appointments. I am still excited and looking forward to the changes that will be coming. I have reduced my ibuprofen intake by 2/3. I had stopped it all together, but I was in too much pain with my jaw. Yesterday and today I have taken 3 in the morning and been able to get through the day pretty well. I will probably keep doing that until I have to stop leading up to the surgery. I have gotten some topical anti-inflamatories and pain medicines which have been helping a bit. I will continue on the search for what works best. I am even thinking about acupuncture.
I have spoken to my pharmacist, and all of my medicines will be fine to crush or switch to liquid except one. I will be going to my doctor to see about getting off of that one. It is for my headaches, and I have been wanting to get off of it anyway. Less medicine. YAY!
I am so looking forward to being more comfortable. Not feeling like a turtle on it's back. Being able to move my seat in the car forward as far as I want to without my belly being in the way...
The only thing that I would love to do (but can't because it is against the rules at school) is get an eyebrow ring. Just thought I would throw that in. If I ever quite teaching, watch out! I will be sporting one!
I have spoken to my pharmacist, and all of my medicines will be fine to crush or switch to liquid except one. I will be going to my doctor to see about getting off of that one. It is for my headaches, and I have been wanting to get off of it anyway. Less medicine. YAY!
I am so looking forward to being more comfortable. Not feeling like a turtle on it's back. Being able to move my seat in the car forward as far as I want to without my belly being in the way...
The only thing that I would love to do (but can't because it is against the rules at school) is get an eyebrow ring. Just thought I would throw that in. If I ever quite teaching, watch out! I will be sporting one!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Day 20
Today I went to what I thought was my psych appointment. It turned out being an appointment with the PA. It seems to have been a meaningless hoop to jump through in this process. I had been told that when I went to the appointment all of the other appointments would be scheduled at that time. I left without even one scheduled. They said they would mail me another packet within 2 weeks with all of the information in it. I very much stressed that I really wanted everything to be scheduled quickly so I could get the surgery before the end of June. I really dislike waiting. I did, however, leave with the instructions to contact some of my doctors to get clearances so I will not have to re-do tests. I suppose that IS better than nothing.
Yesterday I stepped down to using only 1 ibuprofen 3 times a day. My jaw pain is not unbearable, but it is pretty strong. I am hoping that in the next week or so the pain will lessen. I also backed down to 2 lyrica instead of 3 (I take that for my headaches). I am really really really trying to become as medication free as possible. Before the surgery.
I am in a pretty big funk this evening. I consider it a victory that I have not turned to food. In fact, I hadn't even thought about food until just now. What a big improvement!
Yesterday I stepped down to using only 1 ibuprofen 3 times a day. My jaw pain is not unbearable, but it is pretty strong. I am hoping that in the next week or so the pain will lessen. I also backed down to 2 lyrica instead of 3 (I take that for my headaches). I am really really really trying to become as medication free as possible. Before the surgery.
I am in a pretty big funk this evening. I consider it a victory that I have not turned to food. In fact, I hadn't even thought about food until just now. What a big improvement!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Day 15
This week has been especially trying. I haven't had a chance to exercise yet, but with the exception of Monday I have been handling my stress better. That has been a big success for me. I even got through my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" on Tuesday without turning to food. YAY me!
I have a new favorite snack: Vanilla Greek Yogurt. I LOVE it! I really don't like regular yogurt, but the greek yogurt is so different. AND it has something like 12 grams of protein in it, so it is an excellent snack choice for me. Yum!
I have been really working on how my stress effects my jaw. I've been trying not to let my stress make me tense up. I have been taking a new med for anxiety, and this has helped on the particularly rough days. It is a step in the right direction, and I am really thinking that I can reduce my ibuprofen intake again next week. That will make it down to 100mg 3 times a day. If I can handle that for a couple of weeks, then I will eliminate it all together. I am so looking forward to that!
Tuesday will be the day that I go for the psych appointment. While I am there all of the other appointments will be scheduled. I am so excited about this journey!
I have a new favorite snack: Vanilla Greek Yogurt. I LOVE it! I really don't like regular yogurt, but the greek yogurt is so different. AND it has something like 12 grams of protein in it, so it is an excellent snack choice for me. Yum!
I have been really working on how my stress effects my jaw. I've been trying not to let my stress make me tense up. I have been taking a new med for anxiety, and this has helped on the particularly rough days. It is a step in the right direction, and I am really thinking that I can reduce my ibuprofen intake again next week. That will make it down to 100mg 3 times a day. If I can handle that for a couple of weeks, then I will eliminate it all together. I am so looking forward to that!
Tuesday will be the day that I go for the psych appointment. While I am there all of the other appointments will be scheduled. I am so excited about this journey!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Day 12
Today has been very frustrating. I didn't sleep good last night, then I slept through my alarms (40 minutes worth). When I did get up, the left side of my body was hurting. After my shower I even had to lay down for a little while longer because my hip was out. I have been super hot all day, and while my hip feels better, my shoulder is killing me AND my hand is swollen. BAH! I have been super slow all day, and in a semi bad mood. The only answer I have is that I probably over did it over the weekend. I haven't taken any extra ibuprofen, but I have been soooo tempted! I DID crack and eat doritos AND ice cream.
I am really hoping that tomorrow is a better day and I can get back on track.
I am really hoping that tomorrow is a better day and I can get back on track.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Day 11
It's day 11, and it's Sunday. This has been a great and active weekend. We went to Line and Dine on church on friday evening, and we learned 4 line dances. I LOVE line dancing but hubby doesn't, so we have only done it a couple of times. The rest of the weekend has been jam packed and I have been really active. Late this afternoon I was pooped, so I took a nap!
I am finding it hard to change my lifestyle to be more active. I love the way it makes me feel, but it is hard to have a house full of people to try to motivate into moving. The more I ponder the way I live, the more I realize that I have made so many mistakes. I let myself give up on far too much. Now that I am working toward a better me, it is all that much harder because of my prior weaknesses. I am determined to make these changes, even though it has taken far too long to make them.
I have some small victories to announce! I have eliminated 600 mg of ibuprofen a day! I have only had to take one pain pill, so I think that I am dong OK. I am going to wait another week, and then I will drop another 600 mg and see how things progress. I have also only had 1 soda since day 1. YAY me! I have started drink a small cup of coffee each day, and it doesn't seem to be causing problems with my jaw. Bonus! AND the aloe vera juice is helping with my acid reflux, so I don't need to take medicine for that now. I am still waiting for the benefits for my joints, but even if that doesn't happen it still has eliminated another med.
Goals for next week: Aqua aerobics on Monday and Wednesday. I know I still need to build up from there, but it will be a good start!
Something that I look forward to after I loose weight: moving faster. I feel so slow lately!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Day 7...
Well, here we are on day 7. I have exhausted all resources of having surgery to correct my jaw. The closest surgeon who could do what I need is in Florida. My pain management doctor gave me some pain meds to help with coming off of the ibuprofen. I also did some research about natural anti-inflamtories, so I bought some aloe vera juice at CVS today. It is supposed help with digestion AND build up cushioning around joints. Supposedly with just a few tablespoons a day, I should see an improvement within a week. I will have to let you know how it works!
I am having a struggle in my mind about exercising. I know I need to, and I have several ways that I can go about doing it... but the problem is the desire. Between allergies, pain, and just plain laziness, I would much rather just lay down and watch TV. Motivation is what I need! I'll be praying for more of it =o)
Things I am looking forward to... energy. Lots and lots of energy. My friend who had a bypass done a couple of months ago looks terrific, and she said she feels pretty for the first time. I won't say that I have never felt pretty, but I am really looking forward to feeling better about how I look. She also said that she feels great! I am soooo looking forward to that!
I am having a struggle in my mind about exercising. I know I need to, and I have several ways that I can go about doing it... but the problem is the desire. Between allergies, pain, and just plain laziness, I would much rather just lay down and watch TV. Motivation is what I need! I'll be praying for more of it =o)
Things I am looking forward to... energy. Lots and lots of energy. My friend who had a bypass done a couple of months ago looks terrific, and she said she feels pretty for the first time. I won't say that I have never felt pretty, but I am really looking forward to feeling better about how I look. She also said that she feels great! I am soooo looking forward to that!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Day 5
I figure that I don't need to write EVERY day, so don't be surprised if I skip some now that vacation is ending. I DO have any update for today, though.
I called the dentist, but they weren't sure who to refer me to since they normally refer people to the specialist I have already gone to. He is anti-surgery. They are supposed to get back to me. I have looked up a doctor in New Bern just in case. If the dentist doesn't get back to me tomorrow, I will call the office that I looked up. I know, I know, I am very impatient, but I really don't want this to hold up my bypass. It is something that I should have done a few years ago.
AND, another thing that I am looking forward to when I loose weight... buying cute clothes on clearance. I know that is a bit odd, but there are many times when I see "regular" clothes on clearance and I think "if only"...
I called the dentist, but they weren't sure who to refer me to since they normally refer people to the specialist I have already gone to. He is anti-surgery. They are supposed to get back to me. I have looked up a doctor in New Bern just in case. If the dentist doesn't get back to me tomorrow, I will call the office that I looked up. I know, I know, I am very impatient, but I really don't want this to hold up my bypass. It is something that I should have done a few years ago.
AND, another thing that I am looking forward to when I loose weight... buying cute clothes on clearance. I know that is a bit odd, but there are many times when I see "regular" clothes on clearance and I think "if only"...
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Day 4
Here I am on day 4. It's easter! Happy Easter everybody! Usually during holidays everything is centered around food. Today was different. A good friend and her daughter came for the afternoon. We had a great visit, and the food was a very small part of the day. I like it. A lot. It gave me the sense that I can do this. I can change the way I eat and find other things to focus on. It feels good.
I was with the 2 and 3 year olds for one church service today. I love being in there! During that time today, I sat on the floor with them for a while. Oh how I look forward to being thinner so that when I sit on the floor it won't be so hard to get up again! It is only in the last year of so that I have started struggling with that. It really stinks.
I hate having to wait. I am the type of person that when I make up my mind about something I don't want to wait, I want to do it! I will be praying for patience. I will also be praying that my jaw doesn't hold this back. Tomorrow I will be spending part of my day tracking a doctor down who can help me with that. It is actually making me more nervous than having the gastric bypass. I know that GB will help me and my family become more healthy. I have researched it, talked to people, and prayed hard. With my jaw I am stepping into unknown territory. I have no idea what to expect or how long the process will take.
I was with the 2 and 3 year olds for one church service today. I love being in there! During that time today, I sat on the floor with them for a while. Oh how I look forward to being thinner so that when I sit on the floor it won't be so hard to get up again! It is only in the last year of so that I have started struggling with that. It really stinks.
I hate having to wait. I am the type of person that when I make up my mind about something I don't want to wait, I want to do it! I will be praying for patience. I will also be praying that my jaw doesn't hold this back. Tomorrow I will be spending part of my day tracking a doctor down who can help me with that. It is actually making me more nervous than having the gastric bypass. I know that GB will help me and my family become more healthy. I have researched it, talked to people, and prayed hard. With my jaw I am stepping into unknown territory. I have no idea what to expect or how long the process will take.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Day 3
It has become evident to me that prior to having gastric bypass, I will have to get my jaw taken care of. I live on ibuprofen right now to keep the inflammation at bay. I went for about 24 hours with one less pill each time I took a dose, and by the end of that I had pretty bad pain. On Monday I will contact my dentist to find out who I should go to. I have done a little research, and they should be able to insert an artificial disc in each joint. I am praying that it will be pretty straight forward, inexpensive, and quick. It has been a long time in coming. I can't be healthy with my jaw like this. It should also drastically lessen the number of headaches I have. YAY!
On to other revelations. I am going to miss McDonald's french fries and Diet Coke. That is something that I eat when I am stressed out. Yes. I am a stress eater. I really need to work on that. I have started turning to art journalling and yoga instead of food. That is a good start. And once again, I will miss ice cream.
Things that I am really looking forward to... being comfortable on an airplane, being able to lean forward while I am sitting down with my fat getting in the way, being able to bend my head down without my double chin getting in the way, not having food rule my life... and those are just the tip of the ice berg. I am so excited to be on this journey!
On to other revelations. I am going to miss McDonald's french fries and Diet Coke. That is something that I eat when I am stressed out. Yes. I am a stress eater. I really need to work on that. I have started turning to art journalling and yoga instead of food. That is a good start. And once again, I will miss ice cream.
Things that I am really looking forward to... being comfortable on an airplane, being able to lean forward while I am sitting down with my fat getting in the way, being able to bend my head down without my double chin getting in the way, not having food rule my life... and those are just the tip of the ice berg. I am so excited to be on this journey!
Friday, April 6, 2012
Day 2!
I haven't had soda since yesterday morning. I'm actually doing fine with it. YAY!
I am starting to morn for the things that I won't be able to have again once I have the surgery. Popcorn. That is my go-to snack in the afternoon. I LOVE popcorn. Ice cream. No ice cream ever again. I am actually OK with the chocolate because I can have sugar-free every once in a while and it actually tastes good. I can't even imagine a life without craving these things (and others).
The lady yesterday said that cravings will go away with by-pass. She had a lapband, but she said that a year out she doesn't even miss the things she loved the most. I wonder what will take the place of food in my life. I suppose only time will tell.
I am starting to morn for the things that I won't be able to have again once I have the surgery. Popcorn. That is my go-to snack in the afternoon. I LOVE popcorn. Ice cream. No ice cream ever again. I am actually OK with the chocolate because I can have sugar-free every once in a while and it actually tastes good. I can't even imagine a life without craving these things (and others).
The lady yesterday said that cravings will go away with by-pass. She had a lapband, but she said that a year out she doesn't even miss the things she loved the most. I wonder what will take the place of food in my life. I suppose only time will tell.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
My New Journey: Day 1
My New Journey: Day 1: Well, this is it. I have started my new journey today. I have prayed about it, and I have done research. I truly think this is the answer...
Day 1
Well, this is it. I have started my new journey today. I have prayed about it, and I have done research. I truly think this is the answer for me. I am ready to start this journey, and my first baby steps have been taken.
This morning I went to a seminar about weight loss surgery. I have battled with weight my entire life. I now have health problems due to my weight. My diabetes and cholesterol should be eliminated through gastric bypass. My back, neck, and jaw should become less problematic. It will take away my cravings as well.
My biggest fear is my jaw. I will no longer be able to take anti-inflammatory medicines, and that is the only thing that keeps the pain and tightness at bay. I will have to do more research on natural remedies, and possibly consult another doctor about surgery to fix the problem. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
For now, I am making the necessary doctor's appointments and not drinking anymore soda. Absolutely no soda. I have done it before. In college I stopped and didn't start again until a few of years ago. It is my only way to consume caffeine because coffee and tea inflame my jaw. I will probably have a major headache for a few days, but I know it will be for the best.
I am sooooo excited about my new journey! I am absolutely ready for the change in lifestyle! Bring it on!
This morning I went to a seminar about weight loss surgery. I have battled with weight my entire life. I now have health problems due to my weight. My diabetes and cholesterol should be eliminated through gastric bypass. My back, neck, and jaw should become less problematic. It will take away my cravings as well.
My biggest fear is my jaw. I will no longer be able to take anti-inflammatory medicines, and that is the only thing that keeps the pain and tightness at bay. I will have to do more research on natural remedies, and possibly consult another doctor about surgery to fix the problem. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
For now, I am making the necessary doctor's appointments and not drinking anymore soda. Absolutely no soda. I have done it before. In college I stopped and didn't start again until a few of years ago. It is my only way to consume caffeine because coffee and tea inflame my jaw. I will probably have a major headache for a few days, but I know it will be for the best.
I am sooooo excited about my new journey! I am absolutely ready for the change in lifestyle! Bring it on!
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