Day 20

Today I went to what I thought was my psych appointment.  It turned out being an appointment with the PA.  It seems to have been a meaningless hoop to jump through in this process.  I had been told that when I went to the appointment all of the other appointments would be scheduled at that time.  I left without even one scheduled.  They said they would mail me another packet within 2 weeks with all of the information in it.  I very much stressed that I really wanted everything to be scheduled quickly so I could get the surgery before the end of June.  I really dislike waiting.  I did, however, leave with the instructions to contact some of my doctors to get clearances so I will not have to re-do tests.  I suppose that IS better than nothing.

Yesterday I stepped down to using only 1 ibuprofen 3 times a day.  My jaw pain is not unbearable, but it is pretty strong.  I am hoping that in the next week or so the pain will lessen.  I also backed down to 2 lyrica instead of 3 (I take that for my headaches).  I am really really really trying to become as medication free as possible.  Before the surgery.

I am in a pretty big funk this evening.  I consider it a victory that I have not turned to food.  In fact, I hadn't even thought about food until just now.  What a big improvement!

Day 15

This week has been especially trying.  I haven't had a chance to exercise yet, but with the exception of Monday I have been handling my stress better.  That has been a big success for me.  I even got through my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" on Tuesday without turning to food.  YAY me!

I have a new favorite snack:  Vanilla Greek Yogurt.  I LOVE it!  I really don't like regular yogurt, but the greek yogurt is so different.  AND it has something like 12 grams of protein in it, so it is an excellent snack choice for me.  Yum!

I have been really working on how my stress effects my jaw.  I've been trying not to let my stress make me tense up.  I have been taking a new med for anxiety, and this has helped on the particularly rough days.  It is a step in the right direction, and I am really thinking that I can reduce my ibuprofen intake again next week.  That will make it down to 100mg 3 times a day.  If I can handle that for a couple of weeks, then I will eliminate it all together.  I am so looking forward to that!

Tuesday will be the day that I go for the psych appointment.  While I am there all of the other appointments will be scheduled.  I am so excited about this journey!

Day 12

Today has been very frustrating.  I didn't sleep good last night, then I slept through my alarms (40 minutes worth).  When I did get up, the left side of my body was hurting.  After my shower I even had to lay down for a little while longer because my hip was out.  I have been super hot all day, and while my hip feels better, my shoulder is killing me AND my hand is swollen.  BAH!  I have been super slow all day, and in a semi bad mood.  The only answer I have is that I probably over did it over the weekend.  I haven't taken any extra ibuprofen, but I have been soooo tempted!  I DID crack and eat doritos AND ice cream.

I am really hoping that tomorrow is a better day and I can get back on track.

Day 11

It's day 11, and it's Sunday.  This has been a great and active weekend.  We went to Line and Dine on church on friday evening, and we learned 4 line dances.  I LOVE line dancing but hubby doesn't, so we have only done it a couple of times. The rest of the weekend has been jam packed and I have been really active.  Late this afternoon I was pooped, so I took a nap!

I am finding it hard to change my lifestyle to be more active.  I love the way it makes me feel, but it is hard to have a house full of people to try to motivate into moving.  The more I ponder the way I live, the more I realize that I have made so many mistakes.  I let myself give up on far too much.  Now that I am working toward a better me, it is all that much harder because of my prior weaknesses.  I am determined to make these changes, even though it has taken far too long to make them.

I have some small victories to announce!  I have eliminated 600 mg of ibuprofen a day!  I have only had to take one pain pill, so I think that I am dong OK.  I am going to wait another week, and then I will drop another 600 mg and see how things progress.  I have also only had 1 soda since day 1.  YAY me!  I have started drink a small cup of coffee each day, and it doesn't seem to be causing problems with my jaw.  Bonus!  AND the aloe vera juice is helping with my acid reflux, so I don't need to take medicine for that now.  I am still waiting for the benefits for my joints, but even if that doesn't happen it still has eliminated another med.

Goals for next week:  Aqua aerobics on Monday and Wednesday.  I know I still need to build up from there, but it will be a good start!

Something that I look forward to after I loose weight:  moving faster.  I feel so slow lately!

Day 7...

Well, here we are on day 7.  I have exhausted all resources of having surgery to correct my jaw.  The closest surgeon who could do what I need is in Florida.  My pain management doctor gave me some pain meds to help with coming off of the ibuprofen.  I also did some research about natural anti-inflamtories, so I bought some aloe vera juice at CVS today.  It is supposed help with digestion AND build up cushioning around joints.  Supposedly with just a few tablespoons a day, I should see an improvement within a week.  I will have to let you know how it works!

I am having a struggle in my mind about exercising.  I know I need to, and I have several ways that I can go about doing it... but the problem is the desire.  Between allergies, pain, and just plain laziness, I would much rather just lay down and watch TV.  Motivation is what I need!  I'll be praying for more of it =o)

Things I am looking forward to...  energy.  Lots and lots of energy.  My friend who had a bypass done a couple of months ago looks terrific, and she said she feels pretty for the first time.  I won't say that I have never felt pretty, but I am really looking forward to feeling better about how I look.  She also said that she feels great!  I am soooo looking forward to that!

Day 5

I figure that I don't need to write EVERY day, so don't be surprised if I skip some now that vacation is ending.  I DO have any update for today, though.

I called the dentist, but they weren't sure who to refer me to since they normally refer people to the specialist I have already gone to.  He is anti-surgery.  They are supposed to get back to me.  I have looked up a doctor in New Bern just in case.  If the dentist doesn't get back to me tomorrow, I will call the office that I looked up.  I know, I know, I am very impatient, but I really don't want this to hold up my bypass.  It is something that I should have done a few years ago.

AND, another thing that I am looking forward to when I loose weight... buying cute clothes on clearance.  I know that is a bit odd, but there are many times when I see "regular" clothes on clearance and I think "if only"...

Day 4

Here I am on day 4.  It's easter!  Happy Easter everybody!  Usually during holidays everything is centered around food.  Today was different.  A good friend and her daughter came for the afternoon.  We had a great visit, and the food was a very small part of the day.  I like it.  A lot.  It gave me the sense that I can do this.  I can change the way I eat and find other things to focus on.  It feels good.

I was with the 2 and 3 year olds for one church service today.  I love being in there!  During that time today, I sat on the floor with them for a while.  Oh how I look forward to being thinner so that when I sit on the floor it won't be so hard to get up again!  It is only in the last year of so that I have started struggling with that.  It really stinks.

I hate having to wait.  I am the type of person that when I make up my mind about something I don't want to wait, I want to do it!  I will be praying for patience.  I will also be praying that my jaw doesn't hold this back.  Tomorrow I will be spending part of my day tracking a doctor down who can help me with that.  It is actually making me more nervous than having the gastric bypass.  I know that GB will help me and my family become more healthy.  I have researched it, talked to people, and prayed hard.  With my jaw I am stepping into unknown territory.  I have no idea what to expect or how long the process will take.

Day 3

It has become evident to me that prior to having gastric bypass, I will have to get my jaw taken care of.  I live on ibuprofen right now to keep the inflammation at bay.  I went for about 24 hours with one less pill each time I took a dose, and by the end of that I had pretty bad pain.  On Monday I will contact my dentist to find out who I should go to.  I have done a little research, and they should be able to insert an artificial disc in each joint.  I am praying that it will be pretty straight forward, inexpensive, and quick.  It has been a long time in coming.  I can't be healthy with my jaw like this.  It should also drastically lessen the number of headaches I have.  YAY!

On to other revelations.  I am going to miss McDonald's french fries and Diet Coke.  That is something that I eat when I am stressed out.  Yes.  I am a stress eater.  I really need to work on that.  I have started turning to art journalling and yoga instead of food.  That is a good start.  And once again, I will miss ice cream.

Things that I am really looking forward to...  being comfortable on an airplane, being able to lean forward while I am sitting down with my fat getting in the way, being able to bend my head down without my double chin getting in the way, not having food rule my life... and those are just the tip of the ice berg.  I am so excited to be on this journey!

Day 2!

I haven't had soda since yesterday morning.  I'm actually doing fine with it.  YAY! 

I am starting to morn for the things that I won't be able to have again once I have the surgery.  Popcorn.  That is my go-to snack in the afternoon.  I LOVE popcorn.  Ice cream.  No ice cream ever again.  I am actually OK with the chocolate because I can have sugar-free every once in a while and it actually tastes good.  I can't even imagine a life without craving these things (and others). 

The lady yesterday said that cravings will go away with by-pass.  She had a lapband, but she said that a year out she doesn't even miss the things she loved the most.  I wonder what will take the place of food in my life.  I suppose only time will tell.

Art Journal Entry

My New Journey: Day 1

My New Journey: Day 1: Well, this is it.  I have started my new journey today.  I have prayed about it, and I have done research.  I truly think this is the answer...

Day 1

Well, this is it.  I have started my new journey today.  I have prayed about it, and I have done research.  I truly think this is the answer for me.  I am ready to start this journey, and my first baby steps have been taken.

This morning I went to a seminar about weight loss surgery.  I have battled with weight my entire life.  I now have health problems due to my weight.  My diabetes and cholesterol should be eliminated through gastric bypass.  My back, neck, and jaw should become less problematic.  It will take away my cravings as well.

My biggest fear is my jaw.  I will no longer be able to take anti-inflammatory medicines, and that is the only thing that keeps the pain and tightness at bay.  I will have to do more research on natural remedies, and possibly consult another doctor about surgery to fix the problem.  I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

For now, I am making the necessary doctor's appointments and not drinking anymore soda.  Absolutely no soda.  I have done it before.  In college I stopped and didn't start again until a few of years ago.  It is my only way to consume caffeine because coffee and tea inflame my jaw.  I will probably have a major headache for a few days, but I know it will be for the best.

I am sooooo excited about my new journey!  I am absolutely ready for the change in lifestyle!  Bring it on!